The horrors of being a tall guy

Finally! The first installment to my blog. This is going to be great. I have always enjoyed writing, particularly in a comical style. So if you don’t receive at least one chuckle of laughter, then tough. It means you don’t have a sense of humor. No, I am only joking. I am actually a very nice guy. I try to be anyway.

So what does it feel like being the latest addition to the Jersey United Soccer family? To be honest with you, I am absolutely thrilled. My whole life has always evolved around the game of soccer (it is actually and rightly called football from where I come from, but being the nice guy I am, I am going to try and Americanize my wording). So while I was at University, I just said to myself that I needed to be involved in soccer, somehow, someway. Luckily for me, a trip to the United States in 2007 paid off immensely. You see, I came over to work at a children’s camp. I did such a great job that one of the kids’ fathers not only gave me a tip of $100 (yes, really) but also his business card, saying if I ever needed anything, just to contact him. So I did. Strangely enough, he is an immigration lawyer who assists Jersey United with all their immigration work. He recommended me, I got interviewed, and now I am here. I couldn’t believe it. If I never decided to make that trip to the states in the summer of 2007, I most probably would not be here now. Surely fate and destiny exists?

Before anyone asks, I am 6ft 7in tall. Sorry, I have got into the habit of saying that a lot since I arrived here. Yes, I am in fact the tallest person in the whole wide world. Let me just give you an idea of how first-time conversations go between new people and myself:

Myself: “Hi, can I get a large coffee with cream and sugar please?”
New person: “Certainly. Wow, you’re tall. How tall are you?”
Myself (fake laughing): “6ft 7in”
New person: “Really!?!? You play basketball, right?”
Myself (beginning to get annoyed but staying calm): “Nope. I play football, oh sorry, soccer. I actually hate basketball”
New person: “Hahahahaha. You play goalkeeper then?”
Myself (ahhhhhhhhhhhh!): “No. Defender. I win all the headers”
New person: Hahahahaha. Here is your coffee. Have a good day”
Myself (relief): Thanks. You too”

As I leave the Dunkin Donuts, the new person decides to say one last thing:

New person: “Watch your head!”

Every time! Yes, I’ve banged my head a few times here and there but I don’t need people telling me to watch my head. To be fair, I’ve done a good job in watching my head over the years. It’s one of my lifetime achievements. In all honesty, every conversation I have with someone I am meeting for the first time goes like that. It is amazing. I guess all the tall people in the world have to deal with it. I’m pretty certain there is something online where tall people come together to discuss matters like this one. I really should join.

I’ve been here for a month now and I can safely say I made the right decision to come out here. I am really enjoying it. I am also going to enjoy writing down my experiences here and letting you all know how exciting it is to start a new chapter in life. If you have any comments or anything, drop me an email at gareth@jerseyunited.com. I need to go now and do some work. Bye for now.