Proud of the boys...

So I had my first tournament with both my Summer Select teams this past weekend and I can safely say I was very, very pleased with the boys. Let me just quickly run you through our results: my U10s lost two, drew one, and won one while my U13s won two and lost two. Now, considering these players have only just got together, I think you would agree those results are pretty decent. Not only that but we were up against strong teams that have been working together for at least one year. Overall then, I was very proud.

However, I was extremely disappointed with the organization of the tournament (it took place in Hackettstown by the way...). The reason why I say that is because of this...the referee would come up to me and ask to give a linesman's flag to a parent on the sidelines. This was only the case for the U10 games. Can you believe that? In one of the games we lost 6-3 and I am not joking when I say this but 80% of the goals in that game were offside. It was chaotic. I'm not blaming the poor parent chosen to act as a linesman but the organizers who thought it would be okay to do this. What made it even worse was that some of the parent-linesman received abuse from other parents for doing such a bad job - unbelievable if you ask me!

As I said before though, I was very proud of my players - particularly my U13's as they came up against very tough opposition. In our second last game for instance, we faced a team with extremely large and strong boys. We lost the game 3-0 but never ever did the boys give up - they stuck at it. More importantly though, they all gave their best, which is all I can ask for. As a soccer coach, I believe in teaching the game the way it should be played, which is passing and moving. The U13s put in their best performance in the last game by winning 1-0. We were passing, moving, and creating chances. The team we were playing against were only kicking the ball upfield, which for me is not the way to go.

I'm looking for improvement in both my teams and I definitely saw that emerge during the two days of the tournament. I'm very lucky because both my teams consist of great kids - brilliant individuals. Not only does it make my job easier, but it makes it the more pleasurable. I'm absolutely loving it at the moment and I'm sure the kids are too. All I can say is - bring on the next tournament!!!!

I am The Terminator!

Being an extremely tall person, I naturally have a very deep voice. Usually at Kiddie Soccer, when I begin talking to the kids, they all get scared and run away. It's just the way things roll with me, you know? In addition to my low voice, my accent is often compared to that of the California Governor, Arnold Schwarzenegger, who of course hails from the country I was born, Austria. As well as people over here informing me that I am very tall (as if I don't already know this!), they tend to add a thing about me sounding like The Terminator - Arnie.

Now, I'm okay with this because Arnie is possibly the coolest guy alive - he really is. He is worshiped back home...by everyone. So I have no problems being compared to The Terminator. Sean Davies is loving it at the moment because I showed him a Youtube clip of something called "Arnie's Pizza Shop". For anyone intrigued by this, here is the link to it:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oYy8_XTu7rA

Sean thinks this is the funniest thing he has ever heard or seen and I would not disagree with him. It's brilliant. Because of this certain clip, there has been a lot of banter flying from Sean. For example, he asked me to do a certain office task and I sent an email back to him saying I've got to finish my player evaluations first. He replied to me with these exact words, "If you don't, then I will punch a pepperoni through your head". In order for you to understand this, you must watch the clip. Go on then, what are you waiting for? Have a watch.

Just a quick note to say that I am very excited at the moment as I just received an email from a publishing company wishing to print my University Thesis into an actual form of a book! I could not believe it when I read it! I did my thesis on the commercialization of English soccer and how it has affected the supporters. Obviously, the publishers like what they read! So I am just waiting for further details from them. I think I should ask for 1 million dollars for the publishing rights, don't you think? I think that is reasonable enough. Anyway, I'll be sure to let you know what happens with that. Have a good weekend all!

The magic of Baseball - really?

So here it is. I went to a New York Mets Baseball game on Sunday, just to see what all the fuss is about. My verdict: absolutely horrendous. It was dreadful. I honestly don't understand the appeal of it all. What is more unbelievable is the fact that teams play every day - yes - every day. Why is that? And you know how much I paid for a ticket? $42 of my hard-earned wage. I'll tell you something now - that is the last ever time I go to a Baseball game.

Maybe I am being rather harsh. At the end of the day, different cultures enjoy different things - it's a fact of life. While the game of soccer is absolutely worshiped in England, it is not very well regarded over here in the States, even though it continues to develop and grow more popular by the day. I should probably attend a couple more Baseball games or maybe watch some on the television in order to gradually get acquainted with the concept of the game. However, I'm not going to do that because I know I will never show a tiny bit of affection for baseball. It just won't happen after having attended that game.

One thing I was impressed with though was the stadium. Afterward, I was informed that it is a new stadium - home to the New York Mets. Also, I was amazed with the infinite options for food and beverages. I'll tell you this now - it's a lot better than soccer stadiums in England. Being a massive fan of food (my life's goal is to eat - it's what entertains me...really), I highly appreciated the food service. What I did not appreciate though were the prices. But, as food is my only purpose in life, I will pay anything and won't kick up a fuss.

I'm sure any Americans reading this are going to hate me now, unless they are very nice people and can understand my views. I'm sure you are all very nice so I am not going to worry about it. Just a quick note to say I will be taking both my summer select teams to our first tournament this weekend. I'm really looking forward to it and hope to do well. The most important thing is to enjoy ourselves and...wait...forget that...I'm going there to win!!!! Yeah!!!! I'll be sure to let you all know how it goes. Remember, I'm the best soccer coach so the next blog entry will probably entitled as follows, "Told you I was the world's best soccer coach". Take care all. Keep it real.

Summer Select begins...

Hi all. Apologies for the rather long delay in a new post going up. I've just been very busy and also had a day of being very ill. I'll explain later on in this entry...

So, I've just had my first practices with each of my two teams from the Summer Select Program. And to be honest, both went very, very well and I was extremely impressed with the talent on display. All the pressure is on me to win the three tournaments, which we will be participating in, as I apparently have the two best teams (U10 + U13 Boys). Well, I have no worries as we have the best players and, of course, the best coach in me - Gareth Haylins. Yeah, that's right. No, I'm only joking. All I can do is give it my best shot, which I intend to do. It's actually been a very good couple of days as I now have my own car! When I accepted the job, I was told I would have a company car. However, when I arrived in New Jersey, there were severe problems to the company cars and so for the past two months I've been jumping in and out of different cars. It's been quite frustrating but now, thankfully, everything is sorted out. I've got the Ford Crown Victoria, which apparently is the car the cops use around here. It's very fast - so should it be too seeing it belongs to the world's best soccer coach (that's Gareth Haylins by the way...)

In addition to Summer Select starting, myself and some of the boys were offered the opportunity to go on a night out in New York City. I've been in New York before, when I came to America two years ago. However, since arriving here 2 months ago, I hadn't made a trip to the big apple yet. The ever dependable Gary Foster (the ladies man) was driving to Staten Island to meet a lady friend of his and he said he would pick us up after our night out. This was the perfect opportunity and so we jumped at the chance.

When I get excited, which I definitely was for this trip to NYC, I tend to party too much. Actually, we all did on the night but, unfortunately, I came off worst. The next day, I spent the entire day in bed. It was dreadful. I must have caught some sort of nasty bug. It must have been food poisoning as it only lasted one day.

Anyway, I'm off to bed to get some good sleep before I begin my second set of practices with my teams. I'll try my best to post more frequently. Take care all.

The worst soccer referee ever?

So here is the thing. I kindly decided to do a favor over the weekend for James Morris (who is apparently the best at everything) and Lee Pollard (the excessive joker). They needed someone to referee a game between their teams at the Morristown Beard School. Now, and I am not being arrogant here, but I probably know more about the game than Sir Alex Ferguson. I am amazing when it comes to soccer trivia. I am the man. Naturally then, I should be a superb referee. However, the general consensus is, I am the worst referee ever. Crazy, no?

Throughout the whole match, I only had one hiccup and that was an offside decision. With there being no linesmen, calling offsides for any referee is a tough task. Nevertheless, I stuck at it and let the game flow. I blew my whistle for a couple of clear cut fouls but that was it. I felt my positioning on the field was excellent as well. Please - anyone who was at that match and reads this blog, please comment on my refereeing - and don't say it was useless!

As well as putting in the refereeing performance of my life, I also attended Sean Davies' surprise birthday party. His birthday is actually in early July but this was the best time to really surprise him - and it worked. I don't know why I went because, as I have said in previous entries, he is a very annoying person. However, if I had not attended, I probably would have got the sack or Sean would be putting mountains of work on me to do. In all honesty though, it was very nice - particularly the food. There were these meatballs, which were out of this world. Very yummy indeed.

Just got back from doing my last Center of Excellence coaching session. I'll miss it as I really had a good bunch of kids - very talented. We'll be doing it again during the summer so hopefully the same (and more) kids come along. We (some of the Jersey United staff) are just having a nice little grill - gonna tuck into some burgers. So I am going to stop writing. Bye bye.

Bye bye Ronaldo...bye bye sanity

Well, well, well. That's it then. The world has officially gone insane. $160,000,000 for a certain soccer player called Cristiano Ronaldo. I just can't comprehend it. First of all, where on earth is Real Madrid getting this money from?!?! Are we not all meant to be surviving a recession? I mean, people who have lost jobs as a result of corporate greed must be looking at this story and thinking, this is not fair. It is not and to be quite honest with you it is down right disgusting. On top of that, Ronaldo will probably be receiving a weekly salary of at least $400,000. What really got to me was seeing a picture of Ronaldo in a Los Angeles nightclub having a seemingly lovely time with Paris Hilton! This was after the news of the world-record transfer price becoming public knowledge. I think I hate him now, despite all the brilliant goals he scored for Manchester United. Lets be honest, he is a petulant and arrogant individual. Many think he will go down as a Manchester United legend...noway. Yes, he scored goals and turned to be the world player of the year but he just wasn't a Man Utd player. In other words, he did not wear his heart on his sleeve. His boyhood dream has always been to play for Real Madrid and now his wish has come true - good luck to him.

However, I don't think he is making a step-up. Yes, his dream has always been to play for Real Madrid and I'm not holding that against him but I just think he is taking a step-down by choosing to leave Man Utd. I don't think many people will disagree with me on that. Anyway, it'll be interesting how it pans out. I'd love to see a Man Utd - Real Madrid champions league final. That would be a spicy affair to say the least!

Am I upset about losing the world's best player? To a certain extent yes, simply because he is an awesome player. There is no denying that. An incredible talent. Nevertheless, I have full confidence in the one man who always knows what he is doing - that man of course is Sir Alex Ferguson. He would not have let Ronaldo go if he had replacements in mind. When we sold Ruud Van Nistelrooy, one of the best goal scorers ever seen, everyone thought Man Utd were going to struggle. What happened? We became stronger. Prior to that, we lost David Beckham. Yet still, we were not affected. Actually, I am really excited at the moment to see who Sir Alex brings in with the now huge transfer budget.

I'd like to know what you all think. Is Ronaldo good or bad business for Man Utd? Is Ronaldo taking a step up or down in his career? Does this mean that Real Madrid, now with Kaka and Ronaldo in the team, are going to rule Spain and Europe? Let me know what your feelings are about these issues. I need to get some office work done so I am going to leave you. Bye for now.

The wonders of Kiddie Soccer

When I accepted this job back in October, I was not familiar with the notion of Kiddie Soccer. I will tell you this now...if I was familiar with the notion, I probably would have declined the job offer in a heartbeat. No, I am only joking but Kiddie Soccer is probably one of the most difficult tasks on this planet. It really is. As any parent will back me up with, managing 10-12 four year olds is fairly daunting. It's even more daunting when you have parents watching your session! In all honesty though, the kids are great. They are just normal - hyper and crazy.

I don't know if it's because of my size or what but at the start of every Kiddie Soccer session I have done, all the kids stampede towards me and start play-fighting with me. They must think I am some sort of evil giant, even though I wear a bright red t-shirt with the wording Kiddie Soccer Coach clearly presented on the front. Instinctively, I fight back and more often than not, win the battle as I am, after all, the evil giant. Nobody can defeat the evil giant can they?

I love the way kids act at that age. The other day, we were playing a little game (a proper soccer match with proper soccer rules) and, all of a sudden, one of the kids starts crying uncontrollably. Being the caring person I am, I sprint over and ask, "What's the matter?". The kid replies in the most frantic of tones, "He took the ball away from me". Now, at that point, I could not stop laughing. Eventually, I explained to the kid how you are allowed to take the ball away - you need to in order to score a goal! Ah, that moment was just priceless. I miss being a silly kid.

I also love how kids always tell on each other. At these Kiddie Soccer sessions, we always have a teacher supervise. I remember being a huge tatter tale, especially on my bigger and meaner brother. These kids are the same - it's just the way they do it, which makes it so hilarious. For example, one kid decided to call another a "poopy face". The one receiving the abuse looks straight at me, arms folded, and says in the most emphasizing of ways, "I'm telling!". The kid runs over to the teacher and tatter tales. At that moment, I had an instant flashback to the childhood days of my big brother and I. It brought a smile to my face.

Looks like this blog is receiving quite a few comments. Also, the blog has had 150+ visits so I am very pleased about that. Hopefully those who are reading the entries are coming back for more! Apologies if I am not managing a new entry every day. I'm trying my best! Trust me! Ok, that's all from me for now. Bye bye!

A short mention for Uncle Peeps...

Now, this particular entry is completely unique because it is actually a request from someone...a certain chap called Lee Pollard. When he saw his rather minuscule reference in the "The magic of banter" entry, he was slightly disappointed and rightly so because he is, in the end, the infamous Lee Pollard. How stupid was I? Surely I should have known to dedicate one whole entry to himself. If it means anything Polls, I profusely apologize. There are many names given to Lee Pollard, one being Uncle Peeps. The only reasoning behind this I can think of is the obvious one...he is like an Uncle to all of us. You know the one - the funny Uncle, always cracking jokes and (here comes the magic word) radiating ridiculous amounts of banter.

For the past six Mondays, I have been doing the Center of Excellence program with him down in Munroe. I am going to be honest here. The best thing about that Monday is the car ride. The reason being Uncle Peeps' incredible sense of humor. It truly is immense. Personally, I believe it is a great way to be. I am a bit like that as well but no where near the heights or extravagance of Uncle Peeps. Not only that, but he is a pretty nice guy as well. I had to tag along with him to a Kiddie Soccer session of his prior to our journey down to Munroe. I find Kiddie Soccer extremely difficult but Uncle Peeps made it look so easy - mainly because of how he behaves with the kids. It's great. I've got a Kiddie Soccer session on Wednesday and I am sure of doing a better job. Thanks for that Polls.

As anyone who has met Lee will know, he is a tall guy - 6 ft 3 in I believe. However, as a result of my arrival (remember all, I am 6 ft 7 in), he no longer is the tallest in Jersey United. Most of the time he is nice to me. It's fine. But, there are just certain moments where I think he holds a grudge against me for taking his tallest title away from him. Take this for example. Four of the staff, including Uncle Peeps and myself, decided to make the most of half-price appetizers at Applebees. Lee opts to go for some strawberries and whip cream. Very nice indeed. However, it soon was not very nice when some of the whip cream found itself on my shorts. Don't ask me how it got there - only one person knows and that is the menace we all refer to as Uncle Peeps. It all worked out in the end as I had some free, tasty whip cream (yes, off my shorts - so what?).

Anyway, I really hope this satisfies Lee. It probably won't. But, at least I can say I tried. What's that Polls?

Recession? What recession?

I think we can all agree that the money involved in the professional game of soccer, particularly in England, is quite disgusting, to say the least. It's not the players' fault though. They just happen to be playing the game they love, which conveniently pays a fairly large sum of money! However, there is no doubt in my mind whatsoever that some players do just play the game for the money. Loyalty is slowly yet significantly drifting away into the distance. Take Cristiano Ronaldo for instance. When he first joined Manchester United, he clearly had great potential but had trouble applying his skills effectively on the field. Having recently won the Fifa World Player of the Year Award, I think it is safe to say that Manchester United, especially Sir Alex Ferguson, played a huge part in Ronaldo's rise and development into the world's best player. Nevertheless, despite all this, Ronaldo chose to do all he could during the Summer of 2008 to manufacture a move to Real Madrid. In the end though, and I don't know how Sir Alex managed to persuade him, Ronaldo decided to stay.

You see what I mean about loyalty? Now, being half Welsh (my father was born in a rather oddly named Welsh town called Usk), please do not take this next comment as pure bias. For anyone wanting to know what soccer loyalty really is, just go to wikipedia.com and type in Ryan Giggs. Have a read and, trust me, you will be overly impressed. You'll also find he is Welsh and probably the nicest human being you'll probably never have the courtesy of meeting.

Now, I'm sure all you soccer fans have been following the recent news surrounding the Brazilian superstar Kaka. Where is he going? Real Madrid or Chelsea? Apparently we're not in a recession because both clubs have reportedly offered roughly $150,000,000 for the Brazilian's services. Let me note that sum down again. $150,000,000. In my book, not one soccer player is worth near that. Even if the almighty God played soccer, he would not be worth that either. It is absolutely ludricous. Also, get this, Kaka is demanding a salary of $15,000,000 per year and a one-off payment to his agent father of $20,000,000. Are we living in real times? I'm going to bring out a valid statistic here. According to UNICEF, one million child deaths could be prevented annually at a cost of $1 Billion per year. Recession or no recession, clearly there are ridiculous amounts of money circling around, not in the fight against starvation, but in the fight to make one soccer player a satisfied individual, even though he already is filled with money. Personally, I just find it sickening. Surely it is not right?

Yes, this has been a more serious blog entry but I believe it is important to address such issues otherwise we wouldn't be human if we just ignored it. Anyway, I'm going to go make my world famous Spaghetti Bolognese for myself. It's world famous because it is the best. Bye for now.

Pac Man

My blog allows me to add certain gadgets onto my page so I have decided to put a bit of Pac Man on it. Everyone loves a bit of Pac Man. Hopefully this attracts more traffic (this is my marketing prowess coming into play).

Enjoy!

The magic of banter

For anyone who does not know the meaning of "banter", let me take a minute to explain. Banter is a wonderful thing. To put it in it's simplest of terms, banter represents extreme sarcasm and constant jokes. It really is a great thing. The reason why I am writing about this is because the staff of Jersey United Soccer is basically run by banter. I'm not saying this is a bad thing because, in fact, it is a very good thing. Allow me to elaborate...

I spend most of my afternoons working in the office, assisting my very annoying supervisor Sean Davies (only joking Sean...actually, no, I'm not joking). You see. That was a very good example of banter. As you can well imagine then, there is rarely a dull day in the office. I reckon all the constant banter between the staff keeps up spirits and, hence, improves company results. No, really. I'm thinking of going into Management Consultancy and just informing organizations to introduce banter into the workplace in order to improve performance. I'll probably make a lot of money from it but I'm not going to leave Jersey United simply because the banter is too good to turn away. It really is!

My interview for this job was conducted by Martin Brown (boss man) and Sean Davies (annoying supervisor). Not once during the interview did I get an inclination of any banter. To be honest, I thought they were rather dull (oh, that's it, got the sack). Wow, the banter is really flying at the moment! I remember walking into the office the first day and the infamous Lee Pollard asking me "How's the weather up there?". My thought straight away was: this is where I belong.

I've said it once and I'll say it again, banter is a wonderful thing and long may it continue within the realms of the Jersey United office. It's the place to be. 'Till next time.

Still can't believe it...

I still have not recovered from that uninspiring display by Manchester United in the Champions League Final in Rome. Apart from the first 10 minutes, the rest of the performance was simply hopeless. It's amazing what confidence can do in a game of soccer. We were all over Barcelona in those opening 10 minutes. But, when they made their first attack and scored a goal from their first shot, it completely deflated the Man Utd players. I reckon confidence is probably the most important factor in the game. Teams may have the technical ability but positive results come down to self-esteem and confidence. Take Wayne Rooney for example. He looked completely lost on the field. We all know what a great player he is. However, he had no confidence. Nothing at all. I was just so disappointed because I was extremely optimistic ahead of the match. I knew it was going to be tough but I felt we were going to give Barcelona a good game. But, as the saying goes, soccer is a strange game. Things don't go as we predict they will. Oh well, I'm looking forward to next season already!

Just having a look at the monthly poll on the Jersey United website. At the moment, the majority feel Cristiano Ronaldo is a better player than Lionel Messi (that is from 19 votes...c'mon guys, get involved!). Now, I believe it is impossible to pick one over the other. They are both great players. However, and I'm not being biased here, if I had to choose one of them I would go for Ronaldo simply because he is a more complete player. Messi has the best close ball control I have ever seen. It is utterly bewildering. Nevetheless, not only does Ronaldo have good close control as well, but he is big, strong, fast, has an amazing shooting technique and can head a ball like nobody else. Yes, Messi scored that header in the final. I will give you that. Please go on the Jersey United website (www.jerseyunited.com) and cast your vote. It'll be interesting to see how it pans out by the end of the month.

All the coaches here have been given their Summer Select teams. I'm very excited about this. I've got the U13 and U10 Boys...so they better watch out as I am 6 ft 7in and will destroy anyone that messes around. No, I'm only joking. I'm famed for being the big friendly giant. The BFG. That's me alright. I will be taking both teams to three summer tournaments and we will win all three as I am the best coach in the world, behind Sir Alex Ferguson of course! All the staff are here in the office now for the monthly meeting, which is just about to start so I had better go. Please leave any comments you like as I feel nobody is reading these entries. Put anything. If you feel I am hopeless at this, say it. I want some comments! Ok, thanks. Until next time.